{"id":2011,"date":"2026-01-24T11:57:17","date_gmt":"2026-01-24T06:27:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/?p=2011"},"modified":"2026-02-03T19:21:24","modified_gmt":"2026-02-03T13:51:24","slug":"samoregulacja-dzieci-i-przestrzen-do-odczuwania","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/pl\/children-self-regulation-and-the-space-to-feel","title":{"rendered":"Dzieci, samoregulacja i przestrze\u0144 do odczuwania"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-2011\" data-postid=\"2011\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-2011 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n                    <div  data-lazy=\"1\" class=\"module_row themify_builder_row tb_k2n7283 tb_first tf_w\">\n                        <div class=\"row_inner col_align_top tb_col_count_1 tf_box tf_rel\">\n                        <div  data-lazy=\"1\" class=\"module_column tb-column col-full tb_txw2284 first\">\n                    <!-- module image -->\n<div  class=\"module module-image tb_n3lv224 image-top   tf_mw\" data-lazy=\"1\">\n        <div class=\"image-wrap tf_rel tf_mw\">\n            <img decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" src=\"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/ChatGPT-Image-Jan-2-2026-05_27_11-PM.jpg\" class=\"wp-post-image wp-image-2012\" title=\"ChatGPT Image Jan 2, 2026, 05_27_11 PM\" alt=\"ChatGPT Image Jan 2, 2026, 05_27_11 PM\" srcset=\"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/ChatGPT-Image-Jan-2-2026-05_27_11-PM.jpg 800w, https:\/\/chireveti.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/ChatGPT-Image-Jan-2-2026-05_27_11-PM-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/chireveti.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/ChatGPT-Image-Jan-2-2026-05_27_11-PM-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/chireveti.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/ChatGPT-Image-Jan-2-2026-05_27_11-PM-18x12.jpg 18w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/>    \n        <\/div>\n    <!-- \/image-wrap -->\n    \n        <\/div>\n<!-- \/module image -->        <\/div>\n                        <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n                        <div  data-lazy=\"1\" class=\"module_row themify_builder_row tb_ormr76 tf_w\">\n                        <div class=\"row_inner col_align_top tb_col_count_1 tf_box tf_rel\">\n                        <div  data-lazy=\"1\" class=\"module_column tb-column col-full tb_z1td77 first\">\n                    <!-- module text -->\n<div  class=\"module module-text tb_5jgu138\" data-lazy=\"1\">\n        <div  class=\"tb_text_wrap\">\n        <p data-start=\"290\" data-end=\"365\"><em>W tym artykule zbadano, w jaki spos\u00f3b dzieci ucz\u0105 si\u0119 regulowa\u0107 swoje emocje, gdy maj\u0105 przestrze\u0144 do odczuwania, a nie s\u0105 pop\u0119dzane, korygowane lub uspokajane zbyt szybko.<\/em><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"290\" data-end=\"365\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"367\" data-end=\"665\">Samoregulacja sta\u0142a si\u0119 jedn\u0105 z najbardziej chwalonych umiej\u0119tno\u015bci w dzieci\u0144stwie. M\u00f3wimy o niej w klasach, na warsztatach rodzicielskich, w politykach i podr\u0119cznikach szkoleniowych. Oczekuje si\u0119, \u017ce dzieci b\u0119d\u0105 si\u0119 uspokaja\u0107, zarz\u0105dza\u0107 emocjami, cierpliwie czeka\u0107 i spokojnie sobie radzi\u0107. Na papierze brzmi to rozs\u0105dnie. Nawet niezb\u0119dne.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"667\" data-end=\"711\">Ale w prawdziwych salach lekcyjnych co\u015b jest nie tak.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"713\" data-end=\"824\">Poniewa\u017c ucz\u0105c dzieci regulacji, cz\u0119sto usuwamy warunki, kt\u00f3re umo\u017cliwiaj\u0105 regulacj\u0119.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"826\" data-end=\"1282\">Samoregulacja nie zaczyna si\u0119 od kontroli. Zaczyna si\u0119 od uczucia. Od ekspresji. Z doros\u0142ym, kt\u00f3ry mo\u017ce pozosta\u0107 obecny, gdy emocje s\u0105 du\u017ce, niechlujne i niewygodne. Jednak wiele \u015brodowisk edukacyjnych wymaga obecnie regulacji, nie pozwalaj\u0105c najpierw na emocje. Dzieci s\u0105 proszone o uspokojenie si\u0119 bez pozwolenia na zdenerwowanie. Aby oddycha\u0142y g\u0142\u0119boko bez z\u0142o\u015bci. Aby u\u017cywa\u0142y strategii, nie maj\u0105c przestrzeni na do\u015bwiadczenie tego, co te strategie maj\u0105 wspiera\u0107.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1284\" data-end=\"1619\">Widz\u0119 to najwyra\u017aniej, gdy dzieci s\u0105 chwalone za panowanie nad sob\u0105, ale rzadko spotykam si\u0119 z ich emocjami. Dziecko jest zdenerwowane i szybko przypomina mu si\u0119 o wzi\u0119ciu g\u0142\u0119bokiego oddechu. Inne jest sfrustrowane i przekierowane do zadania. Inne jest przyt\u0142oczone i chwalone za \u201ctrzymanie si\u0119 razem\u201d. Intencje s\u0105 dobre. Przekaz, z biegiem czasu, nie jest.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1621\" data-end=\"1652\">Przes\u0142anie brzmi: czuj si\u0119 mniej.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1654\" data-end=\"2003\">Dzieci bardzo wcze\u015bnie ucz\u0105 si\u0119, kt\u00f3re emocje s\u0105 akceptowalne, a kt\u00f3re nie. Ucz\u0105 si\u0119, ile miejsca mog\u0105 zajmowa\u0107. Ucz\u0105 si\u0119, \u017ce regulacja jest nagradzana, gdy jest cicha, szybka i niewidoczna. Z czasem wiele z nich ca\u0142kowicie przestaje wyra\u017ca\u0107 swoje emocje. Nie dlatego, \u017ce s\u0105 regulowani - ale dlatego, \u017ce nauczyli si\u0119, \u017ce ekspresja kosztuje po\u0142\u0105czenie.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2005\" data-end=\"2068\">Samoregulacja bez relacji zamienia si\u0119 w samouciszenie.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2070\" data-end=\"2465\">Prawdziwa regulacja nie jest czym\u015b, co dzieci robi\u0105 same. Rozwija si\u0119 poprzez wsp\u00f3\u0142regulacj\u0119 - dzi\u0119ki doros\u0142ym, kt\u00f3rzy pozostaj\u0105 blisko podczas burz emocjonalnych, kt\u00f3rzy nazywaj\u0105 to, co si\u0119 dzieje, kt\u00f3rzy nie spiesz\u0105 si\u0119, aby naprawi\u0107 lub odwr\u00f3ci\u0107 uwag\u0119 i kt\u00f3rzy mog\u0105 tolerowa\u0107 dyskomfort bez konieczno\u015bci, aby dziecko przesta\u0142o czu\u0107. Gdy brakuje tego wsparcia, dzieci nadal si\u0119 przystosowuj\u0105. Zawsze tak jest. Ale adaptacja cz\u0119sto wygl\u0105da jak kurczenie si\u0119.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2467\" data-end=\"2764\">Pami\u0119tam dziecko, kt\u00f3re by\u0142o nieustannie chwalone za \u201cstosowanie swoich strategii\u201d. Szybko siada\u0142, oddycha\u0142 i podporz\u0105dkowywa\u0142 si\u0119, gdy by\u0142 zdenerwowany. Nigdy nie podnosi\u0142 g\u0142osu. Nigdy nie p\u0142aka\u0142. Pewnego dnia, po trudnym momencie, zapyta\u0142em go, jak si\u0119 czuje. Przerwa\u0142 i powiedzia\u0142 cicho: \u201cNie wiem. Po prostu sprawiam, \u017ce odchodzi\u201d.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2766\" data-end=\"2824\">To nie jest alfabetyzacja emocjonalna. To jest emocjonalne wymazywanie.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2826\" data-end=\"3193\">\u017byjemy w systemach, kt\u00f3re ceni\u0105 sobie p\u0142ynno\u015b\u0107. Przewidywalno\u015b\u0107. Przep\u0142yw. Oczekuje si\u0119, \u017ce dzieci dopasuj\u0105 si\u0119 do \u015brodowisk, kt\u00f3re poruszaj\u0105 si\u0119 szybko i pozostawiaj\u0105 niewiele miejsca na zak\u0142\u00f3cenia. Regulacja staje si\u0119 wymogiem, a nie procesem. A kiedy dzieci maj\u0105 trudno\u015bci, cz\u0119sto skupiamy si\u0119 na nauczaniu lepszych technik, zamiast zastanawia\u0107 si\u0119, czy \u015brodowisko nie wymaga zbyt wiele.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"721\" data-end=\"1038\">Samoregulacja nie oznacza braku emocji. Jest to zdolno\u015b\u0107 do przechodzenia przez emocje z zachowaniem bezpiecze\u0144stwa, wsparcia i regeneracji. Obejmuje to z\u0142o\u015b\u0107, op\u00f3r, smutek, podekscytowanie i rado\u015b\u0107. Kiedy pomijamy te do\u015bwiadczenia w imi\u0119 regulacji, nie przygotowujemy dzieci do \u017cycia. Przygotowujemy je do podporz\u0105dkowania si\u0119.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1045\" data-end=\"1266\">Kiedy odporno\u015b\u0107 jest traktowana jako co\u015b, co dzieci musz\u0105 nosi\u0107 same, \u017ale rozumiemy, jak si\u0119 ona kszta\u0142tuje. Dok\u0142adniej zbada\u0142em t\u0119 odpowiedzialno\u015b\u0107 w <a href=\"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/pl\/wychowanie-odpornych-dzieci-odpowiedzialnosc-zycie\/\"><em data-start=\"1188\" data-end=\"1265\">Wychowanie odpornych dzieci jest obowi\u0105zkiem doros\u0142ych, a nie dziecka<\/em>.<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3512\" data-end=\"3782\">Dzieci potrzebuj\u0105 przestrzeni do odczuwania, zanim naucz\u0105 si\u0119 regulowa\u0107. Przestrzeni, kt\u00f3ra nie jest po\u015bpieszna. Nie jest zoptymalizowana. Nie jest zarz\u0105dzana. Potrzebuj\u0105 doros\u0142ych, kt\u00f3rzy potrafi\u0105 radzi\u0107 sobie z intensywno\u015bci\u0105, nie pr\u00f3buj\u0105c jej zmniejsza\u0107. Doros\u0142ych, kt\u00f3rzy rozumiej\u0105, \u017ce dysregulacja nie jest pora\u017ck\u0105, ale komunikacj\u0105.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3784\" data-end=\"3930\">Kiedy dajemy dzieciom przestrze\u0144 do odczuwania, regulacja rozwija si\u0119 naturalnie w miar\u0119 up\u0142ywu czasu. Wyrasta z bezpiecze\u0144stwa, a nie z presji. Z relacji, a nie techniki.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3932\" data-end=\"4051\">Je\u015bli chcemy mie\u0107 zdrowe emocjonalnie dzieci, musimy przesta\u0107 prosi\u0107 je o regulowanie emocji, kt\u00f3rych nie wolno im mie\u0107.<\/p>    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<!-- \/module text -->        <\/div>\n                        <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do\u015bwiadczony pedagog zastanawia si\u0119 nad samoregulacj\u0105, odporno\u015bci\u0105 i tym, dlaczego dzieci potrzebuj\u0105 przestrzeni do odczuwania, zanim oczekuje si\u0119 od nich radzenia sobie, radzenia sobie z emocjami lub spokojnego zachowania.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2016,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2011","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-early-years-education-parenting","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.9 - 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We talk about it in classrooms, parenting workshops, policies, and training manuals. Children are expected to calm themselves, manage emotions, wait patiently, and cope quietly. On paper, it sounds reasonable. Necessary, even.<\/p> <p data-start=\"667\" data-end=\"711\">But in real classrooms, something feels off.<\/p> <p data-start=\"713\" data-end=\"824\">Because while we teach children to regulate, we often remove the very conditions that make regulation possible.<\/p> <p data-start=\"826\" data-end=\"1282\">Self-regulation does not begin with control. It begins with feeling. With expression. With an adult who can stay present when emotions are big, messy, and inconvenient. Yet many learning environments now demand regulation without allowing emotion first. Children are asked to calm down without being allowed to be upset. To breathe deeply without being angry. To use strategies without having space to experience what those strategies are meant to support.<\/p> <p data-start=\"1284\" data-end=\"1619\">I see this most clearly when children are praised for managing themselves but rarely met in their emotions. A child is upset and is quickly reminded to take deep breaths. Another is frustrated and redirected to a task. Another is overwhelmed and praised for \u201cholding it together.\u201d The intention is good. The message, over time, is not.<\/p> <p data-start=\"1621\" data-end=\"1652\">The message becomes: feel less.<\/p> <p data-start=\"1654\" data-end=\"2003\">Children learn very early which emotions are acceptable and which are not. They learn how much space they are allowed to take up. They learn that regulation is rewarded when it is quiet, quick, and invisible. Over time, many stop expressing altogether. Not because they are regulated \u2014 but because they have learned that expression costs connection.<\/p> <p data-start=\"2005\" data-end=\"2068\">Self-regulation without relationship turns into self-silencing.<\/p> <p data-start=\"2070\" data-end=\"2465\">True regulation is not something children do alone. It develops through co-regulation \u2014 through adults who stay close during emotional storms, who name what is happening, who don\u2019t rush to fix or distract, and who can tolerate discomfort without needing the child to stop feeling. When that support is missing, children still adapt. They always do. But the adaptation often looks like shrinking.<\/p> <p data-start=\"2467\" data-end=\"2764\">I remember a child who was constantly praised for \u201cusing his strategies.\u201d He was quick to sit, breathe, and comply when upset. He never raised his voice. He never cried. One day, after a difficult moment, I asked him how he felt. He paused and said quietly, \u201cI don\u2019t know. I just make it go away.\u201d<\/p> <p data-start=\"2766\" data-end=\"2824\">That is not emotional literacy. That is emotional erasure.<\/p> <p data-start=\"2826\" data-end=\"3193\">We live in systems that value smoothness. Predictability. Flow. Children are expected to fit into environments that move fast and leave little room for disruption. Regulation becomes a requirement rather than a process. And when children struggle, the focus often shifts to teaching better techniques instead of questioning whether the environment is asking too much.<\/p> <p data-start=\"721\" data-end=\"1038\">Self-regulation is not the absence of emotion. It is the ability to move through emotion with safety, support, and recovery. It includes anger, resistance, grief, excitement, and joy. When we skip over these experiences in the name of regulation, we do not prepare children for life. We prepare them for compliance.<\/p> <p data-start=\"1045\" data-end=\"1266\">When resilience is treated as something children must carry alone, we misunderstand how it forms. I explored this responsibility more fully in <a href=\"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/raising-resilient-children-responsibility-life\"><em data-start=\"1188\" data-end=\"1265\">Raising Resilient Children Is an Adult Responsibility, Not a Child\u2019s Burden<\/em>.<\/a><\/p> <p data-start=\"3512\" data-end=\"3782\">Children need space to feel before they can learn to regulate. Space that is not rushed. Not optimised. Not managed away. They need adults who can sit with intensity without trying to shrink it. Adults who understand that dysregulation is not failure, but communication.<\/p> <p data-start=\"3784\" data-end=\"3930\">When we give children room to feel, regulation develops naturally over time. It grows from safety, not pressure. From relationship, not technique.<\/p> <p data-start=\"3932\" data-end=\"4051\">If we want emotionally healthy children, we have to stop asking them to regulate emotions they are not allowed to have.<\/p>","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2011","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2011"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2011\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2188,"href":"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2011\/revisions\/2188"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2016"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2011"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2011"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chireveti.com\/pl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2011"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}